Financial Fortune Seeker Pillows

'How to Win a Lottery'

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Stock investing books: Winning/Losing.

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"Only another thousand points up and I'm even, honey."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

Dow 40,000? Come in and check it out!

"Stocks closed lower on news that what goes up will also go down."

"Fido is our best investment forecaster. He can smell fear, greed, and money."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Golden Eggs.

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

Gambling on office building construction

"Trepanning for gold"

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."