Financial Fitness Fan Gifts

'A 401K? Are you kidding? I can't even run a 5K!'

Before: Magic carpet... After: Down to Earth.

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

"Your heart rate is fine, it's your credit rating that's giving us concern."

First hurdle to getting a loan. Angry woman.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

In the Guru District

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Turn, turn and turn.

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Muscles

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"