Financial Crime Buffs Gifts

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Bank Robbery Statistics

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

'Emotional blackmail.'

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"I hate when this happens."

Witless protection prgram

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

Fraud Squad

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

Where mystery meat comes from.

'I think you have the wrong idea,sonny!'

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

"Pete's an old school copper, arrest first and ask questions later."

'You'll have to start your rounds earlier. Another stickup man got all our money an hour ago.'

"I was at a high-powered investment firm for seven years and a high-powered penal institution for a year and a half."