Financial Cartoon Lover Pillows

'. . . It's not a bribe, it's a personalised stimulus package.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

Pizza time.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

The Decline of the Euro.

...your sales are rather anemic

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

Federal Guidelines

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."