Finance Comic Lover Pillows

"If you're not happy with the new low pay rate of a million pounds that we've introduced, Watkins, I'm sure we can find someone else who will be."

'Now that I have your attention...'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Loan Alley

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

Federal Guidelines

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Bank Cuts Jobs. . . Employees in Need!

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'