Financial Comic Pillows

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Money Bar.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

But under a different accounting convention ...

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

White Collar Crime.

The Euro - R.I.P.

Yes, they are all dependants."

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'