Film & Tv Gifts

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Horror movies

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

No-Work Orange