Film And Tv Gifts

"yes, but why do me want a cookie."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a tiny room, looking out at a world that's passing me by. . ."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'I see it as a good thing. Since we've been made superfluous, I've finally had time to work on y screenplay.'

"Ok, but after this, no more last requests."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

No-Work Orange

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"