Film And Cinema Gifts

'Spinach: The Prequel'

NATO Theater: Now showing Ukraine, a snuff film, directed by Vlad Putin.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

No-Work Orange

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

Comedy Cafe

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Stand-up Romcom

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."