Cinemas Gifts

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Multiplex cinema: Virtual reality car chases/explosions & virtual script.

"Sit down Fred!"

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

'What's the quietest picture? I want to use my phone in peace.'

The Milkman Always Rings Twice.

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

"Dude, that was the best superhero movie ever!"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Herman Mankiewicz

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

No-Work Orange

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Stand-up Romcom

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'There's nothing on.'