Classic Cinema Gifts

"Mr. Total Recall"

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Old Lady Does Marilyn Monroe Impression.

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

When all else fails, Bell-a-Lugosi

"Mr. Goldwyn on the wire, Mr. Morris."

Basil Rathbone Caricature

Charlie Chaplin

Hedy Lamarr caricature

'It'll be hard convincing him to go digital. He just got over the adjustment to talkies.'

Man walking through a large sheet of glass two men are carring throught the street

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

Audrey Hepburn

At a silent moment - I don't know Slim, it's quiet.. a little too quiet.

Boris Karloff

David Niven

"Edwin is a great admirer of the late Howard Hughes."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

The 3 Stooges Diner. Free Pie. Hah! I know better than to fall for that!

"Oh, hello, there. Is this Mary Feeney? Hello, there. This is Marty Piletti. I wonder if you recall me. Well, I'm kind of a stocky guy. The last time we met was in the RKO Chester. You was with a friend of yours, and I was with a friend of mine name of Angie." Actually, none of this is true, of course. It's dialogue from the 1955 movie "Marty," starring Ernest Borgnine. In the film, Marty failed to get a date, but Borgnine went on to win an Oscar. I'm hoping to one or both of those things to hap

"I knew it. All Shemp episodes."

The Battle of Bedford Falls

A general points out his ribbons which signify films he has watched.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Comedy Cafe

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Solar Frankenstein

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"