Classic Cinema Fanatic Gifts

Mia Farrow

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Comedy Cafe

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"Housekeeping?!"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Jimmy Cagney.

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

All-Verbal Westerns

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

I'm Spartacus.

David Niven caricature

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Queen Kong

"Homes on Holmes"

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Whatcha watching, Dad?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."