Cinema And Theater Gifts

'You don't get all bent out of shape when LADY GODIVA does it!'

Shepherd and eurydice

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Tut and Carmen.

'They all want to play the star.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Jean-Paul Sartre

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"Extreme miming"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."