Theaters Gifts

'I knew you were worried about taking your baby to the drive in, but security guards?'

Shepherd and eurydice

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Tut and Carmen.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Herman Mankiewicz

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Extreme miming"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Champagne

Leslie Caron.

'Hamlet'