Figures Of Speech Gifts

Only a handful of people are this small.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Ice skater

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'Damn! McGee's good!'

Time for speeches

William Pitt the Elder

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

Victory speech.

"Don't repeat this."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

"Take this box of rumors, innuendo and hearsay and turn it into decisive leadership."

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

Triple Sock Cow