Figures Of Speech T-Shirts

Only a handful of people are this small.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Ice skater

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Damn! McGee's good!'

William Pitt the Elder

Time for speeches

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Victory speech.

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

"Don't repeat this."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

Citizen Cane...

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

For the record, my young speech writers don't consider borrowing phrases as plagiarism. They consider it sampling.

"Take this box of rumors, innuendo and hearsay and turn it into decisive leadership."

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

Triple Sock Cow