Field-to-fork Foodie Gifts

GM Crop lark

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Roasted Peppers

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Fresh eggs!'

(Direct to the Consumer)

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

Olives

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Surprised cook.

"We think it's terribly important that you meet the people responsible for the food you're eating tonight."

We get so much produce from our farm share, I can't decide what to cook. Use everything! How about a stew with squash, peppers and corn in a zesty tomato base? Would your kids even put it on their plates? Of course! As long as it didn't touch the mac 'n' cheese.

'Only the sauce was locally sourced.'

Something Grown Something Shot.

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"This little piggy will have the farm to table slop."

"I joined one of those sites where they send you fresh ingredients and you cook it yourself."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

Authentic Farm-2-Table Dining Experience