Fidelity Ponderer Gifts

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til new attractive secretary do us part...

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'Confusionism'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Retirement Issues

Air Pollution Threat

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Soren Kierkegaard

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

Desert Island Surveillance.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'You have to admire the way Hartley overcame his honesty and integrity to get to the top.'

'We could use more moving and shaking from you, Yomp, and less bobbing and weaving.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"