Fidelity Gifts

"And this one is for being faithful to my wife."

"You were going to leave him for a woman, so what's the difference if he left you for a man?"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Tiny Visions

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Drive-thru Church

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Christian and Born again Christian...

Father

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Nun Binning the Devil

"Amen. Please help me up."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"