Fidelity Pillows

"And this one is for being faithful to my wife."

"You were going to leave him for a woman, so what's the difference if he left you for a man?"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Tiny Visions

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Drive-thru Church

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Father

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Nun Binning the Devil

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Please help me up."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'