Festive Schemer Gifts

"Keep an eye on that Santa...I think he might be a damned headhunter!"

A trap for Santa

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Frosting the Snowman

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

Scary Face at Window

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

'No cuts in Medicare!'

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

Santana Claus

"Room for bigger presents!"

Santa's Nightmares

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

Christmas in Space

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- Are you a Keynesian or something?'

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

'I thought we'd go for a digital tree this year.'

'Drone Santa.'

"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

"I've got a great deal for us...if we're willing to sponsor Christmas."

'If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.'

'It's all automated nowadays: Santa doesn't need to check the list twice anymore...'

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."