Celebration Schemers Gifts

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"It's a setup."

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"You must be the one they call the birthday kid!"

'You'r either having trouble hearing, or there's a boy you want to be closer to.'

Valentine Comix

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

The thinker Easter egg

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

A trap for Santa

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

'There's no money in comic strips.'

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

Pinata filled with pinatas.

Fake it with Flowers.

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'

"Keep an eye on that Santa...I think he might be a damned headhunter!"

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."

"Now, do you see why I discourage employee fraternization, Tom!"