Celebration Schemers T-Shirts

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Cow Pinatas

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

"It's a setup."

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'You'r either having trouble hearing, or there's a boy you want to be closer to.'

"You must be the one they call the birthday kid!"

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

The thinker Easter egg

Valentine Comix

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

A trap for Santa

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

Pinata filled with pinatas.

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

'There's no money in comic strips.'

Fake it with Flowers.

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

Bar. Go tell her you like long walks on the beach. She's a sandpiper.

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

"How do you know how old God is?"

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'

"Keep an eye on that Santa...I think he might be a damned headhunter!"

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."