Romantic Schemers T-Shirts

'You'r either having trouble hearing, or there's a boy you want to be closer to.'

Bar. Go tell her you like long walks on the beach. She's a sandpiper.

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

"If it's a scary movie, maybe Estella will be all over me!"

'Want to go mess up some political careers?'

"Let's hope Jenkins has the presence of mind to run out of petrol."

Carbon Dating.

Quantum Psychic

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'Romeo and Julietta'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"I know what you're thinking - all I am to you is a vector."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

Mergers or acquisitions.

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I just think we should be together'.

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."