Romantic Plotters T-Shirts

"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

I think you're ace

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

When two philosophers date. So

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Romans.

Intellectual Foreplay...

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Beats me why but my girlfriend says I have a one-track mind."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

Writers wait in their area of expertise.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"My aloofness is a mask."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"It says we should try to imagine we are in love."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue