Festive Reader Pillows

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Bad gifts

The New Year's Dance

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

A feminist Christmas.

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

Santa Metal Claus

Knight before Christmas

Inbox and outbox for books

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

It happened on Christmas Eve

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

Dogs play the double bass

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

How the little banjo boy became a drummer

Free Chimney Cleaning.

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

"During the holidays, we like to refer to organ donation as 'regifting.'"

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'