Festive Season Reader Pillows

Newspapers

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Happy New Ear!

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Great Moment in North Pole History

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Santa Elevator

Inbox and outbox for books

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

Christmas Cow.

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

December Fest

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Can you guess what it is yet?