Festive Readers Pillows

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Bad gifts

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

A feminist Christmas.

Knight before Christmas

Inbox and outbox for books

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Ice skating boyfriends

It happened on Christmas Eve

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

How the little banjo boy became a drummer

Free Chimney Cleaning.

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

'Can I come in for a bit? It's flipping freezing out here!'

Caterpillar and stockings.

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'

Summer Reads - Fall Reads!

Twas 4 nights before Christmas and Santa's spirits aren't high. Unless hitched to his sleigh, his reindeer can't fly...

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'