Festive Story Enthusiast Pillows

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Yo ho ho!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Mice playing double bass

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Kissmas

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

A feminist Christmas.

Easter Bunny

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Knight before Christmas

Elf of the Month

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"When I was small, Santa Claus brought a lot of things...but the most important... He brought families together."

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

Poinsettia

December Fest