Christmas Story Aficionado Pillows

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Panettone

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I don't believe in you!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

Zoom Christmas

"Elfis"

'He's got your nose.'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Filming Christmas

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Reindeer

"I noticed a few browns."