Festive Partier Pillows

Fallen Christmas Angel

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Christmas Pets

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Yo ho ho!

Santa Dog

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Easter Egg Delivery

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

O Christmas Tea

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor