Festive Newshound Pillows

The News - Christmas Special

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Merry Christmas"

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Oh, Christ.'

A feminist Christmas.

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

Knight before Christmas

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

'My Christmas bonus.'

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

How the little banjo boy became a drummer