Festive Newshound Pillows

The News - Christmas Special

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Merry Christmas"

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Five

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Oh, Christ.'

A feminist Christmas.

'Let him yell. I've brought him his Wall Street Journal every day for 6 years and hasn't given me one tip yet.'

Knight before Christmas

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

'My Christmas bonus.'

Elf on the Top Shelf

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."