Festive Grinch Gifts

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'I hate all holidays!'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Do you suffer from Jet Lag the day after Christmas?'

"The cookies are always stale."

Fleas Navidad.

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

Happy New Year

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

Days of Christmas.

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Where Yule Logs Come From.

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

Driving home for Christmas.

"Wanna use the door?"

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

New Year weather

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"Wishing yuo a very merry Christmas and Propserous New Year."

'What do you mean you want a pay rise??? You only work once a year!!!'

'Bless you!'

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

"I'm flexible, I can travel any time up until the 24th December."

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

'Blast these cuts!'

A metal detector with mistletoe

"Can't you do something productive instead of sitting around 364 days of the year?"

'Meet the Easter Bunny.'

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

"The Ford will give you a son, and you will call him a manual."

'I don't care if you do put me on the naughty list, your bag needs to go through x-ray.'

"December 19, 1960 - North Pole: An innocent water balloon fight turns tragic as temperatures dip below freezing." "Holy Toledo."