Online Christmas Grinch Gifts

The Post Of Christmas Present

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'I hate all holidays!'

Reindeer

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"When is it my turn?"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

Days of Christmas.

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Okay, cough.'

Even Santa outsources

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

Santa delivering newspapers

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

'Blast these cuts!'

Baaa...humbug.

Santa tries to deliver to the home of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe.

"Lousy elves are on strike again. You people gift wrap?"

Wallowing in elf pity...

"I'm filled with the holiday spirit. Single malt scotch."

'December 25, in a far-off, heathen land...' 'What I would give for a day off this time of year.'

Sadly, Sid would put too much faith in the immunity idol.

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"