Online Christmas Grinch Gifts

The Post Of Christmas Present

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'I hate all holidays!'

Reindeer

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"When is it my turn?"

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

Even Santa outsources

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

Santa delivering newspapers

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

'Blast these cuts!'

Baaa...humbug.

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."

'December 25, in a far-off, heathen land...' 'What I would give for a day off this time of year.'

Wallowing in elf pity...

Sadly, Sid would put too much faith in the immunity idol.

"I'm filled with the holiday spirit. Single malt scotch."

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"

Christmas - Let's get it over with.