Festive Grinch Pillows

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'I hate all holidays!'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Do you suffer from Jet Lag the day after Christmas?'

"The cookies are always stale."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

Happy New Year

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

Driving home for Christmas.

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

New Year weather

"Wishing yuo a very merry Christmas and Propserous New Year."

'What do you mean you want a pay rise??? You only work once a year!!!'

'Bless you!'

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

"I'm flexible, I can travel any time up until the 24th December."

"Can't you do something productive instead of sitting around 364 days of the year?"

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

'Blast these cuts!'

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

A metal detector with mistletoe

'I don't care if you do put me on the naughty list, your bag needs to go through x-ray.'

"December 19, 1960 - North Pole: An innocent water balloon fight turns tragic as temperatures dip below freezing." "Holy Toledo."

"I can't believe it's that time of year already."