Festive Forecaster Pillows

Peace in 2010

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

European currency on the edge.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"If you ask me, that sky looks awfully threatening!"

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Man dreaming of TV weather girl having clothes blown off.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"