Festive Seasons Pillows

"You think your job is hard? I have to remember which date Easter falls on each year."

Happy New Ear!

'They say if you close your eyes and think happy thoughts, it won't hurt as much. . .'

Santa finishes Christmas, turns into Father Time at New Years.

"There is no work right now. Everyone says to apply again next November."

Santa Elevator

'What are you doing this Christmas?'

The Real War On Christmas

Mardi Gras

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas Pets

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Santa Dog

Ice Skater

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."