Festive Firecracker Pillows

Sparklers

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Santa-Can at the North Pole.

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"The cookies are always stale."

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Snowman carrot substitute.

Cat has unraveled Santa's suit

Snowball Fight With Santa

'They think I can walk on water.'

"I said I wanted a watch!"

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

"Huge, big thank you, Santa, for recording the office holiday greeting."

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

'Regretfully your honour- I had too much to drink at our Christmas party and have forgotten my briefs.'

'Well yeah, I was a jolly old elf until that *6!!# Wikileaks exposed how my operation really works.'