Frugal Firecrackers Pillows

No frills fireworks.

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

"Dude, we are not setting the neighbor's house on fire this year!"

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

Pizza By The Slice

You're getting cheaper, Armstrong. I'm getting more efficient. It's the American way. Businesses have to keep growing profits to satisfy their investors. The innovative entrepreneur finds ways to grow sales while constantly cutting costs. By giving customers used straws. They're broken in.

"You created fire, and this is how you use it?"

"It isn't a romantic candle-lit dinner when you've had the electricity cut off."

"Christmas shopping done - the trolley only cost a quid."

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

Eliminating gas spending.

Safety first - do not store certain items together.

'It was hard enough making ends meet when it was just the two of us. Now we have a baby and suddenly there's four more stomachs to feed.'

"They're having a price war."

Sparklers

"Warning: Read page six before igniting the 'Hose-Head' firecracker."

'We can afford Monday through to Thursday. We're going to have to skip Friday, Saturday and Sunday.'

Austerity Christmas Crackers.

"Thank you, but a latte costs 5 bucks."

"What the hell was that? I was expecting fireworks."

Man with cut off jeans next to 50% off sign

'... So what does a half a tree cost?'

"Obviously, if the only thing you keep on repeating is "Polly wants a cracker", you're bound to put on weight..."

"Now calm down...there's no need to overreact."

Christams gift ideas - January sales catalogues.

'That's my savings for a rainy day. Actually, it's more like for a sun shower.'

"To help with your expenses, I'm happy to wait until the after - Christmas sales!"

"Who needs a tree?"