Festive Experimenter Pillows

Santa's Early Years of Research and Development...

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Could you keep still?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

Yo ho ho!

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

Merry Kissmas

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

Poinsettia

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

Festivus poles

December Fest

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

Vendo Tree.

'I wrapped it myself !'

'Well, it is the complete works of Shakespeare all right, however this pig is claiming he wrote it.'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

Christmas fairy.

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

Aliens leaving spacecraft.

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."