Festive Chef Gifts

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Quit all that stirring...it's Christmas Eve!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Night of the Latkes

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frosting the Snowman

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Turkey Autopsy

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

Bad gifts

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"