Festive Coordinator Gifts

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Frosting the Snowman

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Classic Emojis for sale.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

The Aisle

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

Eurocopa 2016

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

A pirate and a bride

Safe Christmas.

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"