Festive Curator Gifts

'Twas St. Nick in a sleigh with a big red sombrero. He came rushing along like a crazy bombero.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Yo ho ho!

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Redecorating Easter Island.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Bad gifts

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Person carrying balloons and plants.

Classic Emojis for sale.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Well, it's about time!'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Safe Christmas.

Elf of the Month

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Museum of Mediocre Art.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

December Fest