Festive Artist Gifts

Elf Portrait

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Frosting the Snowman

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Bad gifts

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

'Oh, Christ.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Safe Christmas.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

C.P.A.