Festival-goer Humor Gifts

Wearing a jumpsuit to a festival.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Face painting.

Cariactures

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Bacchus.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Country Bumpkin.

Chano Pozo,

Clown Face Painting

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Dancing at the Clubs.

The Running of the Brie

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I was there, man - I didn't see you around.'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

I came, I saw, I partied!

"Mine's camper."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Spaghetti Rave"

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

Put on your Easter bonnet!

"Me, my dream would be to attend the Cheery Blossom Festival in Japan..."

Face Painting.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.