Festival Humor Fan Gifts

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Raised by Dogs

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Hon, I'm home!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Pearly King and Queen

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Beer Parasol.

Tequila Mockingbird

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."