Festival Avoider Gifts

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Face painting.

Cariactures

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Bacchus.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Country Bumpkin.

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Chano Pozo,

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

Pearly King and Queen

Clown Face Painting

Dancing at the Clubs.

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

The Mainstream

The Running of the Brie

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

The dark side of Halloween.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'I was there, man - I didn't see you around.'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

Earth Mother

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

I came, I saw, I partied!

"It makes you look old."

"Me, my dream would be to attend the Cheery Blossom Festival in Japan..."