"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."
Current Events Avoider Gifts
Looking for a gift for the current events avoider? Celebrate their love for staying positive and uninvolved with witty and charming items that bring humor and serenity. Perfect for those who prefer to stay in their bubble and avoid the chaos, these gifts keep things light-hearted and fun, making every day a little more peaceful amid the noise.
Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.
Schengen
British savings accounts
Build your very own conflict of interest!
News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!
We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds
National Everything Awareness Day
Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin
"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."
Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.
'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'
"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."
"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."
Government a la Carte
Laughingstock
There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.
Turkish Democracy
"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."
Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus
Roe v. Wade
New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream
"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."
"America’s leaders since 1980"
Armageddon
Russia Money Laundering
SAGE mentality
"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."
Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie
Sybil Obama
'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'
'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'
"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."
"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."
Reporter #6: television.
Current Events Avoider Gifts Collection
Current Events Avoider Mugs
Explore our mugs collection for the current events avoider—humorous and calming designs that turn every coffee break into a moment of serenity.
Current Events Avoider Pillows
Find the perfect pillows for creating a tranquil space—lighthearted designs that help keep calm and carry on.
Current Events Avoider Prints
Browse our prints for the peaceful retreat—art that celebrates quiet days and carefree moments, ideal for the current events avoider.
Current Events Avoider T-Shirts
Discover our selection of t-shirts for those who prefer to stay blissfully detached—comfortable, witty, and perfect for casual days.