Ferret Enthusiast Gifts

"I lied to you about wanting children. I want ferrets."

No-Nonsense House Pets

Exotic pets - Ferret versus Scorpion.

'Gosh, I think that guard who put his pet ferret down your pants really likes you.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'Next!'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"Cat park"

Snake Eyes

Danth battle?

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

The Tooth Ferret

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'Hi Mom He followed me home, Can I keep him'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."