Ferret Enthusiast Gifts

"I lied to you about wanting children. I want ferrets."

No-Nonsense House Pets

Exotic pets - Ferret versus Scorpion.

'Gosh, I think that guard who put his pet ferret down your pants really likes you.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'Next!'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

The Devil's in the detail!

"Cat park"

Snake Eyes

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'Hi Mom He followed me home, Can I keep him'

The Tooth Ferret

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'Honey, we don't stare.'