Ferret Family Member Gifts

'Hey, Mom - I hope you're sitting down, because you just got another grandferret!'

Seagiraffes

"Bad dog."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Boy and his dog

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"He wants a second opinion."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

The Tooth Ferret

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'He's barking mad!'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Persian

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"Yeah you can pretty much get anything in Florida."

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'