Ferret Family Member Gifts

'Hey, Mom - I hope you're sitting down, because you just got another grandferret!'

Seagiraffes

"Bad dog."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Boy and his dog

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"It's nice to be wanted."

The Tooth Ferret

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"He wants a second opinion."

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'He's barking mad!'

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

'One of these days that finger is gonna tap into the water. And when it does...I'll be ready....'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Persian

'They go on a lot of picnics.'